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Alex Tang



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On being a Boy

Dr Alex Tang




Hello little one,

It’s being a while and you have grown so much bigger. And you are still cute! When you are younger and smaller, you always attract big people ladies who “Ooo” and “ah” at how cute you look, want to carry you, pinch your chubby cheeks and call you “cutie pie”. Now you are older, little girls your age are attracted to you and want to touch your hair or share their ice cream with you. You are a ‘chick magnet’. Grampa understand how you feel because Grampa is one too!

You are a boy. I am not sure you know the difference but no matter. You will gradually understand what that means. Grampa has been very careful not to stereotype you by giving you ‘boy’ clothes and toys. In other words, Grampa is trying to bring you up gender neutral. Your Jie Jie is in her pink phase. She is into playing with dolls and imaginative play which usually involves cooking and tea party. I have been observing you, little one, and I noticed that you like blue. That is also Grampa’s favorite color. You like cars, trucks and other things you can take apart. You are not so impressed with dolls and teddy bears. Grampa finds this fascinating because you instinctively choose what big people associate with what little boys will like.

Grampa is not happy with the way many big people tend to be very concerned whether you are a boy or a girl. The moment a little one is born, the first question is always whether the little one is a boy or a girl. I am sure the little one will prefer the questions like, “hello, how are you?” or “am I smacking your bottom too hard?” The nurse will put a colored plastic label on the little one’s feet. Blue for boy and pink for girls. Talk about discrimination! And from then on, it is discrimination all the way; from pink clothes and booties for girls and blue for boys. Your Jie Jie will be upset about this attitude: some big people value boys more than girls! How ridiculous! You are right, little one. We are all the same. Ah, you remember what I told you earlier.

Boys and girls are the same. They should be treated similarly and loved similarly. Yes, they do grow and do things differently, as you and your Jie Jie are doing. Yet, both of you deserve the same amount of love from everyone. As you are receiving now from your Mummy and Daddy. Grampa believes that boys and girls are of equal value because they are created in the image of God. Ya, something like Playdoh but much more complex. The little ones should be loved and nurtured. They must be allowed to grow in their own way without too much interference from the big people. When older, they will in time discover their own sexuality. Grampa hopes that in time you will grow into a good man. In the meantime, enjoy being a boy.


Dear God,

I commit this little boy into your Hands. Protect and nurture him so that he grows up healthy and strong. Guide him to discover and embrace his sexuality. Help him to grow up into a good person who loves You.



06 April 2016


More conversations with my grandson

More conversations with my granddaughter



"treat, heal, and comfort always"

 "spiritual forming disciples of Jesus Christ with informed minds, hearts on fire and contemplative in actions"  


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